For starters...

Horace Guy would be saddened, knowing that his good name is being used in service of this bit of silliness. But I have always loved Ball Four, and Jim Bouton's nemesis deserves to have just as good a spring for a little bit longer.

I have pondered starting a blog about stuff only I care about so others don't have to listen to me ramble on about stuff that happened before they were born. But seeing this on youtube today just pushed me over the edge.



So much to say, so little time. OK, here goes. This is from The Osmonds cartoon series that ran in the 1972-73 season. From the Frosty the Snowman folks; boy, how the mighty fell:

:07--Jimmy Osmond already easing into his role as the cockblocking little brother literary device.

:11--Aw, how could that be such a bad apple? It has such cute eyes.

:14--The psychedelic screen border. Cos we know that the LDS were at the forefront of hippie culture.

:21--That bad apple apparently has a speed-like effect on Jimmy

:24--Even fish skeletons know to avoid the bad apple.

:26--Awwww, they blink in sync.

:30--"You call that a trident. Now this....this is a trident!"[/crocodiledundee]

:31--Fine, they're so startled they hit the drink. But why were they standing in the boat in the first place?

:38--The five worst-dressed, most awkwardly dancing silhouettes evah!

:44--The love interests apparently being submitted by each country's Stereotype Commission.

:52--Damn, can that elephant book!

:58--And he's apparently walleyed.

1:03--The elephant and Jimmy (or his scooter) seem to have some chemistry going.

1:09--RAM SPEEED!

1:13--Yo, where did Donnie's silhouette go? Get me Continuity!

1:22--Jimmy trying to outpogo some apple/peach/pumpkin hybrids.

1:25--Jimmy is apparently a suicide apple bomber.

1:29--Ah, there's Donnie!

1:32--They're just as bad as their silhouettes were.

1:39--Their asses have gotta be cold.

1:44--Donnie with his James Cameron moment. Or was it his audition for Pyramid?

1:47--And...and...TWINS!

1:50--Twin peaks!

1:55--"Surely that brat won't find us here...no way could he be in that pile of snow behind us!"

1:57--Is that a mustache and a green fedora on her? And is his hand about to round first?

1:59--Her virtue saved!

2:01--And Donnie catches on to a valuable life lesson at an early age.

2:11--Jimmy as polyester gnome.

2:13--Who also can't dance.

2:20--Making it rain.

2:31--And in a Hanna Barbera-like cost-cutting move, Donnie's shirt matches the color of
the apple.


Well, there you are. I can't promise it'll get any better, but we'll see.